Would someone tell me how this happened?
So. I'm kind of. In shock.
Roughly twenty months ago, The Onion posted a fake news story about Gillette escalating the battle with Schick and moving to five blades.
Here are a few of the less profanity-ridden sections from that story:
I don't care how. Make the blades so thin they're invisible. Put some on the handle. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!
All we have to do is put her out there with a little jingle. It's as easy as, "Hey, shaving with anything less than five blades is like scraping your beard off with a dull hatchet." Or "You'll be so smooth, I could snort lines off of your chin."
But here's the absolute best part of that fake news story:
Stop. I just had a stroke of genius. Are you ready? Open your mouth, baby birds, cause Mama's about to drop you one sweet, fat nightcrawler. Here she comes: Put another aloe strip on that [expletive deleted], too. That's right. Five blades, two strips, and make the second one lather. You heard me—the second strip lathers.
But, oh, the irony! Here we are more than a year and a half later, and what was once a fake story has become reality!
From CNN.com: Gillette unveils 5-bladed razor with two lubricating strips
Any minute now, Los Angeles is going to add a high-speed chase lane to its highways.
15 September 2005, 12:54
